What to Say When Someone Is Worried About You
It's hard to stand by when someone you care about is going through a hard feel like symptoms of a mental affliction, trauma, difficulties with substance apply, or loss of a family fellow member. Maybe they've talked about an disease or peradventure you've noticed that they don't seem like themselves. You might experience awkward talking about mental health or worry about proverb the wrong matter.
If yous're concerned about a friend, it's important to inquire them what'due south happening and what they need without making assumptions or jumping to conclusions. Imagine that yous broke your arm but everyone treats you like yous've broken a leg. You'd probably experience really frustrated, possibly fifty-fifty hurt or angry. Let your friend know that you lot want to assist, but let them tell you what they need. Many people just need a friend: someone they tin can hang out with and have fun together and someone they tin talk to when they need some back up.
Remember that you are not a mental health professional. You lot aren't there to make a diagnosis or requite medical advice. Yous are there to support your friend and help them detect a professional if they need it.
Helping a friend doesn't hateful:
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Giving medical advice or acting like their psychologist, counsellor, or medico
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Making decisions for your friend
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Solving all of your friend'southward problems
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Doing everything for your friend
Helping a friend can affect your own well-being and it'southward important to help yourself, likewise. The Taking intendance of yourself section later in this info canvas has tips on managing your own mental health and setting salubrious boundaries.
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How can I help?
Yous can be there to listen.
When people are going through something difficult or disruptive, simply providing a space for them to share their thoughts, or talking through their experiences be very helpful. Equally a friend, you can be there to listen without judgement.
Some people want to talk a lot while others may not. Pushing someone to share or talk about their feelings can hurt if they don't want to talk. Information technology's better to ask what your friend needs and respect their wishes.
When a friend has a health problem, you may feel like yous have to talk virtually health or their disease a lot. However, there's much more to people than an disease or health trouble! Keep including your friend in your usual conversations and remember to ask how they're doing in other parts of their life.
You can learn together.
When it comes to any wellness concern, in that location's a lot to larn! Learning more than about mental health and mental disease can help people accept care of themselves. Information technology can also help friends understand what another person is experiencing and how they can really help.
Learning together may be every bit simple as finding a few books or trustworthy websites and reading them together. You tin besides find events and courses through local mental health organizations, schools, and campuses.
You can share experiences.
If you've experienced a health concern in the by or if you're currently dealing with a health business organization, you probably accept a lot of insight on how y'all deal with challenges and stay well. Perhaps a particular service provider really helped you or you know a great organization in your community. This kind of information is really helpful for other people. You lot might consider asking your friend if they desire to know what worked for you, before yous share your feel with them. Sometimes people don't want advice and that'due south okay, too.
Y'all can offering practical aid.
When people are experiencing symptoms of a mental illness or other challenge, they may not be able to do everything that they want to do. If your friend is finding information technology hard to have care of daily tasks, you can ask if they need any help. Even small things like taking a friend to an date, helping with their grocery shopping, or delivering a good for you meal tin can make a big difference.
Experiences of mental illness can change over time and your friend may enquire for unlike kinds of help. For case, a friend might want to talk a lot about their experience with depression early on just find that they'd rather talk nearly their old interests and activities as they find a skillful psychotherapist and start to experience better. In other cases, people may decline aid at get-go but feel more than comfortable asking after on. It's okay to check in in one case in a while to make sure your friend has the assistance and support they need.
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Where tin can I find assist for my friend?
One of the most of import things you can do for a friend (or other people in your life) is connecting them with services. Call back, information technology is not upward to you to have all the answers or to solve every problem.
At schoolhouse
Your school'southward counsellor is a good identify to start. Some schools offering their own programs for students. Your schoolhouse's counsellor tin can also recommend services or organizations in your customs that can help. If y'all experience more than comfy talking with a particular instructor or staff member, they can as well help connect you lot with services and supports.
If you aren't comfortable talking with someone at school, there are also phone lines for young people who are looking for assist. Youth in BC (world wide web.youthinbc.com) and the Kids Help Telephone (www.kidshelpphone.ca) are 2 adept options. They are there to listen and they can advise services or other helpful places to go in your surface area.
On campus
Campuses take counselling departments that support students who need aid. You tin can also detect services through your campus' health and health services or your pupil spousal relationship or student services society. Depending on your friend's situation, your campus' disability services tin can too help, particularly if your friend would like practical aid and help similar note-taking and exam-taking. Many campuses host educational activity events, peer support or support groups, and other useful options. If a friend is having problems with conflict (like a problem with an teacher), the campus ombudsperson tin help people work towards a resolution.
In the community
A family unit doctor or nurse practitioner is often the start person someone sees for mental health concerns. Attempt contacting a local mental health organisation for services like support groups, programs to help people who experience a mental affliction, or programs to back up loved ones. They're also a great place to become practical advice and suggestions you might non take considered. Y'all'll find contact information for mental health organizations in BC at world wide web.heretohelp.bc.ca. For good health information, HealthLink BC is a good option. Call 811 to talk to a registered nurse or visit www.healthlinkbc.ca. You can find resources for young people through Kelty Mental Wellness. Visit www.keltymentalhealth.ca or call 1-800-665-1822.
In an emergency or crunch
If you are concerned about a friend's firsthand prophylactic, call 911.
If y'all are concerned about a friend just don't think that they are in immediate danger, try calling your local crisis line. They are trained to help in crises and emergency, but they can also offer communication and community resources. To connect with a crisis line in BC, phone call the BC Mental Health Support Line at 310-6789 (no area code).
If a friend experiences thoughts of suicide or talks about suicide, call ane-800-784-2433 (1-800-SUICIDE). They are trained to help you lot cope with the situation and assist your friend.
Depending on your friend's situation, they may work with their wellness care provider to brand a crunch programme. Crisis plans usually outline what will happen when someone feels unwell. Enquire your friend if they have a crunch plan, sometimes called a safety program, in place so yous know what to do, if needed.
Elevation
Taking care of yourself
Supporting someone else can bear on your own well-being. It's normal to feel overwhelmed, upset, or aroused when someone y'all care about experiences difficulties, so it'due south important to take care of your own health, as well. If you've been helping someone for a long time, y'all might experience tired or start to believe that y'all haven't been helpful. Small steps like getting enough slumber, getting some exercise, and spending time on activities yous enjoy are good for everyone. If you're having a hard fourth dimension, it'southward a good idea to seek support for yourself. Any of the places in the Where can I find help for my friend? department of this info canvas are practiced places to get-go.
An important part of any relationship is boundaries. Fifty-fifty though you want to aid, it'due south important to think about your limits, such every bit what you're not willing to put up with or what you aren't willing to practice. For example, it's reasonable (and good for you!) to ask that a friend non call or text you after a certain time. Have an open conversation about your boundaries so that everyone is clear. Call back to revaluate your boundaries and make changes, if needed—what worked at one point may non piece of work in a month or a twelvemonth.
What if a friend isn't ready for help?
This can be a difficult situation. Yous can see that a friend is having a tough time, but y'all feel like they aren't doing anything about it. People naturally remember of what might be causing the problem and wonder why their friend won't seek help, but remember that information technology isn't your job to diagnose an illness or give handling communication. Accusing or confronting a friend probable isn't going to help anyone. If you decide to talk with a friend, call up to be supportive, calm, and non-judgemental. Here are more tips to attempt:
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Ask your friend if they've been having bug lately, and let them know that you're a good person to talk to when they're set.
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Instead of giving your friend a list of bug you've noticed, talk nearly how yous've been afflicted. Instead of saying, "You don't practise anything anymore!" you could try, "I feel hurt when you abolish our plans at the terminal infinitesimal. Is something going on?"
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Reply to problems that they bring up. For example, if they mutter about feeling like they can't concentrate at school, you might suggest talking about that trouble with someone who can help, like a teacher or school counsellor.
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There may be another person in your friend'south life that they really respect and seek out when they demand communication. That person may have too noticed changes and may accept more of an influence.
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Find a way to talk that makes information technology easier to get to the harder stuff. For one person, it may be texting in the evening. For someone else, it may be going for a walk or going to a coffee shop.
If you're really concerned nigh a friend, talk with an adult you lot trust, like a teacher, your schoolhouse counsellor, or a parent. Your friend may be angry that you lot brought others into the state of affairs, simply it'south more important to go on people safety.
Unless your friend is in danger of hurting themselves or someone else, there's one important bespeak to keep in mind: it is your friend's right to decide how they are going to bargain with it, even if yous don't agree with their choice.
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Where tin I find more information?
HeretoHelp
Visit www.heretohelp.bc.ca to larn more nearly supporting a loved 1, larn more than near mental wellness, mental illnesses and substances, take a screening self-test and find resources in BC.
Youth in BC
Visit world wide web.youthinbc.com to chat online with a volunteer (every twenty-four hours from 12:00 pm to 1:00 am). You can as well talk with someone at whatever time at 1-866-661-3311 or 604-872-3311 (in the Lower Mainland). You'll also find data on mental health on their website.
Foundry
Visit www.foundrybc.ca for Foundry, a one-stop part for youth ages 12–24 seeking mental and physical health services, supports, or data. Foundry locations are available effectually the province and some services are available virtually. Visit www.foundrybc.ca for more data and local contact information.
Kelty Mental Health
Visit www.keltymentalhealth.ca to discover resources and help for and about young people.
Mental Health Back up Line
Phone call 310-6789 (no surface area code) 24 hours a day to connect to a BC crisis line without a expect or busy signal. They tin aid in a crisis situation, but they are besides there to listen if you just need to talk and they can help y'all notice resources in your area.
About the writer
The Canadian Mental Wellness Clan promotes the mental health of all and supports the resilience and recovery of people experiencing a mental affliction through public didactics, community-based research, advancement, and direct services. Visit www.cmha.bc.ca.
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Source: https://www.heretohelp.bc.ca/infosheet/helping-a-friend-youre-worried-about